Worst part. When I close my eyes and try to imagine how I want it to be like in the near future, I see nothing. Just a swirl of colours.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100709200730AABOdSV

The same thing happens to me all the time and it scares me.

Mother says I am sick because my mind is too crowded with so many unnecessary, stressful things.
Hehh..

Well, there's .....
- financial problems
- family problems
- ending 2010 without a bomb
- ending 2010 with ton of regret
- ending 2010 without a special someone
- ending 2010 feeling fat
- ending 2010 sick

That's about it. Not THAT stressfull uhh..
But I know. 2011 has more in store for me. He has wonderful plans for me. I just need to believe :D

♥,fasyajamal!

Bloatedness and aches. Best day ever. NOT! Nehmind. Will be meeting Ry and Shar later♥

Yay.

I'm PMS-ing like nobody's business.
Period is only due in 2 weeks!

Everything pisses me off.
The people I despise.. Either I hate them even more or I actually get along with them. The people I usually can tolerate becomes untolerable!

It is probably not save for me to meet anyone intentionally around this period of time. I'll just be frowning, telling the person off and sulking. You little flaws will seem worse. If you are a generally loud person, your voice is like the sound of nails on a chalkboard. I will feel like slapping you. Nobody wants to spend time with a person like that.

So until everything is fine, I'll just have to take caution and not hurt someone out of anger and regret it later.

25 days left to Uncle's wedding.

By the 23rd day I must already lose 5kg!
I must, I must, I must.

I was so depressed about how the clothes are getting tighter and how Adik is constantly telling me how fat I am that I broke down crying. It was devastating.
But I'm gonna listen to mother's advice. If I really am depressed about it and hate feeling fat, I must not lie down and mope all day. I must go out and do something about it!

So I did! Yesterday, I left the house at 645 and went to Jurong Lake Park to jog. I am so out of stamina, I could only run so little and I walked the rest of the way. I was perspiring like nobody's buiness and my whole body was red/itchy.
As soon as I reach home, mother gestured me to come in very quickly because Jllian, the toughest trainer, popular among celebrities, 's morning show was on. When she started using the weights, I felt a rush going through my head and it went black for a few seconds. Mother made me stop. My body probably was "shocked" from the sudden exercise. Well, I haven't really exercised for about 2 years?

Hehh.. Today, mum & I planned to wake up and follow Jillian's circuits. But no thanks to an uber late night las night, we both didn't do it. Mum continued sleeping, I completed my assignment.

Pfft. Nehmind. I have 23 more days ^^
If I've got time, I'll probably go jog for awhile before class :D